Thursday, June 4, 2015

You Can't Give What You Don't Have

When I was pregnant with my first child, my mom and sister hosted a family baby shower for my husband and me.  It was a co-ed shower attended by my aunts and uncles, grandparents, and a few family friends from the town where I grew up.

One of the party "games" involved asking each guest to impart some wisdom or advice to the new parents by writing a tip on a paper frog.  We got lots of great advice!
"Affirm best efforts, not just best results"






"Don't arrive home and say 'What's for dinner?' Arrive home with dinner"































We also got some tips that seemed a little strange at first, but have turned out to be incredibly profound!

"Rule #9 Always carry a knife" (Any other NCIS carbs out there?)


And then there was this gem:
"Nemo dat quod non habet - you can't give what you don't have"
Oddly enough, this philosophical tip came from an uncle with no children. He was just about spot-on, though!    I certainly don't put myself first ALL of the time.  But I do notice what a difference it makes when I take the time to take care of myself, and even pamper myself a little!


On days when I've had enough sleep, when I've eaten well, and when I'm feeling centered, I have the power to do great mom things.  I calmly ask my 4-year-old for the 3,000th time to put his shoes on so we can play outside.  I pull out the play dough without so much as flinching when  all the colors get smooshed into one. I pretend to love the worm being held less than an inch from my nose.  I don't even bat an eye as my 2-year-old dumps his milk on the table in protest.

There are days when I don't heed his wisdom, though.  Maybe I'm just too busy, or maybe I'm already stressed or ill.  Whatever the reason, these are the days that I make parenting choices I'm not the most proud of.  My fuse is way too short. I snap instead of offering another chance.  I don't have the energy to get down on the floor and take part in the game of cars that's going on. 

When you're taking care of little ones, it can be hard to make the time to take care of yourself - but it's SO important!  "Nemo dat quod non habet - you can't give what you don't have."



In the spirit of supporting you and your family not only through your communication journey, but through being important in the lives of little ones, I am excited to start sharing some of my posts with you about "being your best you."  I'm already thinking of some fun date night ideas, easy ways to inject some pampering into your busy schedule, and even some fun family activities  There will still be plenty of posts about signing with your little ones too, so I hope you'll visit often for a little bit of inspiration!

What was the best advice you got about being a parent or caring for little ones?


27 comments:

  1. I love this idea for a shower game - it's fun and you get some awesome tips. I love the quote from your uncle!

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    1. It was a fun game. They asked everyone to write on the frogs as they arrived and ate, then we read them in between opening gifts. I still look through them now and again almost 5 years later. Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. Sorry, I think I may comment twice (technical difficulties on my end).

    The frogs are adorable and what a great keepsake. I know I often forget to take care of myself, always wanting to give everything to my kids first, but like the airlines say, "Put the oxygen mask on yourself first." We aren't any good to anyone else if we are depleted. I need that reminder a LOT. Give your Uncle a hug from all the Mamas.

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    1. It's so easy to forget ourselves. I've only been a mama for a few years, and already have had to back up and re-start by taking care of myself more than once! I love the airline comparison, too! Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. Steph,
    What a great idea and what gems...Love this :-) And I have learned the hard way the importance of caring for myself so I am able to best care for my loved ones and other ...Thanks for all the wise advice.

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    1. We got so many pieces of great advice - mostly from those who'd learned the hard way themselves or wished they'd done things a bit differently. It definitely didn't prevent all of our frustrations, but it's always great to know we have support from people who've "been there" and have our backs!

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  4. I love this! As a teacher I can focus on the negative rather than how they can do the right thing! Thanks for linking up with Reflect.

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    1. Thanks for visiting. Taking good care of ourselves definitely benefits our students too!

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  5. What an awesome idea! My best advice was "Be consistent." If it's no once, it's no for the next time. Kids are happy when they live with consistency. And oh boy, is yours ever good. I found baths worked wonders!

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    1. Surprisingly none of our little frogs talked about consistency, but I definitely agree! We've been talking about that a lot recently, actually. It doesn't matter who you ask or how many times - the answer isn't going to change. Thanks for stopping by.

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  6. Love the sound of that game and what awesome advice. It is so SO easy to out yourself last as a parent but putting ourselves first sometimes really does make us better parents. Great post # ssamazingachievements

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    1. It was nice to hear everyone's thoughts, and it's made a nice keepsake too! It is absolutely too easy to "forget" ourselves...we're worth the effort, though! Thanks for stopping by.

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  7. This is great advice. I'm a better mom when rested and fed also :) Although, I'll never get used to all the Play-doh colors smooshing together! Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!

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    1. Not blinking at Play-doh is when I know I'm having a spectacular day! Thanks for hosting a great link up. I always enjoy checking out the variety of posts!

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    2. What a great party idea! I love that you get some wisdom from others. I do agree that when you're feeling good that you can do a better job at parenting. Thanks for sharing on Merry Monday.

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  8. Thanks, Erlene. They did a great job planning, and the wisdom shared has been such a blessing!. Thanks for stopping by.

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  9. I love this idea for a baby shower! And I love all the advice, especially the one from your uncle. I don't do this enough really. Thanks for stopping by and sharing with Littles Learning Link Up. So glad to have you joining in. I can't wait to see what you share this week.

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  10. I love this idea for a baby shower! And I love all the advice, especially the one from your uncle. I don't do this enough really. Thanks for stopping by and sharing with Littles Learning Link Up. So glad to have you joining in. I can't wait to see what you share this week.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, I always enjoy your sweet thoughts! This was a fabulous shower. It can be so difficult to make the time for us, but it's so very important. I've found that if I can work something into my routine it really helps.

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  11. What a fantastic idea for a baby shower and you received some great advice. I'm always very guilty of not putting myself first but am rectifying that this year, slowly and bit by bit, something will happen and I'll be back where I started though! C'est la vie!
    Thanks for linking up with #SSAmazingAchievements

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    1. Once babies come - even before they're born really - it gets to be difficult to take care of ourselves, but it's so worth it for the benefits to everyone ele in ourlives. I'm proud of your for taking steps to make sure you're cared for as well. I've found that if I can change up something I'm already doing and is part of my daily or weekly routine it really helps!

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  12. I love this game and what a great quote to live by. I really need to start giving myself some me time. I think it would help us all round too x

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    1. I have often let this one slip as well, and I ican absolutely tell the difference. I am a happier lady, my husband is happier, my kids are happer - I imagine others I encounter as well - when I'm taking time out for myself! I whole-heartedly encourage you to care out a bit of time and see the results for yourself. I've found the most succes by finding ways to pamper myself that fit into the routine we already have. Thansk for visiting!

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  13. Couldn't agree more it is imported to take some time out for yourself as it will only make you a better parent.

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    1. It can be so easy to forget to put yourself at the top of the list sometimes, but I think the results show themselves pretty quickly when we don't! Thanks for stopping by!

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  14. My mother gave me the best advice when she said "Never be a short order cook to your family" She made one meal every night that had multiple components (protein, starch, veggie, etc) so that everyone had at least one thing on the table she knew we'd eat. If we weren't satisfied than there was always PB&J. My kids grew up that way and I think I did them a huge favor preparing them for adult life.

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    1. We work that way most nights too - I'm hoping it pays off when they're a bit older! Thanks for stopping by.

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